I Build Bridges

Yesterday, I was trying to describe my work to somebody new. My tagline goes like this:

“I teach meditation, movement and magic to unconventional professionals who want to make more space in their lives for their inner hippie.

But honestly? I just give people permission (and skills) to follow their hearts.

Because when people know how to deeply nourish their souls, it gives the world more ways to be free.”

In my mind, it looks like this: (click to enlarge)

I Build BridgesIn there, in the middle, there is a “Chasm of Despair”. I don’t want you to have to go through the Chasm. I’ve been there. It sucks.

I want to help you build a bridge across it. Even if you’re not firmly convinced that the Plane of Potential exists.

(Thanks to Alexandra Franzen for her “What do you Do?” script. She’s a genius at reaching (gently) into the heart and freeing what is there. I tried to link to it directly, but there’s so much on her website that a) I can’t find it again but b) anything you find on there is going to help anyway. Buy her stuff. She’s awesome.)

 

QCP2: The Living Earth

Happy Earth Day, everybody.

It is my sincere hope that at some point Earth Day is no longer necessary because we live in constant awareness of the preciousness of our living systems. But for the nonce, I offer a “Meditation in Science and Reverence”. The meditation portion of today’s podcast was originally published on The Practical Dilettante in 2011.

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Why I Burned My Resume

I found this in my documents folder while attempting to find an old resume, on the outside chance that it is time to seek “traditional” gainful employment… but I found that I have not kept a copy. And this a pretty compelling reason not to reconstruct it, at least not as it stood in December of 2012 when I put it to rest.

Last night was the longest night of the year in the northern hemisphere. According to the astronomical calculators, the sun ended its northward apparent motion at 05:30 (UTC) and began its southern return. (Actually, of course, the sun did nothing of the sort. The earth continued to orbit the sun and we passed the point in the orbit at which the horizontal component of the axis is perpendicular to the sun. I think. You’d think I would completely understand this given my undergraduate specialization. Hope they don’t come and take my degree away… Such is the thought process of a scientist/language geek/pagan. But, I digress.)

It is a time for entering The Dark, The Dreaming. It is a time for renewal, for casting off, for preparing for the returning of the light. Is this metaphorical? Certainly. Do our metaphors impact our psyches? Undeniably. Is the time ripe for doing this work? Arguably. Do you have to believe in astrological woo-woo to read the rest of this post? No. But you can, and I will still love you. Or you can not, and I will still love you. I have beloved members of my chosen family in both camps.

Last night over the candles, my partner looked me in the eyes, and he said, “What do you bring into the dark?” And I looked down at the scrolled CV that I had placed at the center of our circle, and said, “This, I guess.” And then I said, “No. I bring the names and labels by which I have been known, for release. And I carry forward the learning I had from these experiences.”

This scroll was a gift from him in days gone by for times that I felt that I had not accomplished anything. He occasionally used it to playfully tap me on the head when I decried my lack of professional progress in recent years. My years of staying home with the children, going to work at a part-time, dead-end, not-challenging job had taken their toll on my self-image. There were days when I looked at my life and said, “Clearly this represents some truth about me.” And there were days when I looked back at my life and saw nothing but failure.

And on those days, he said to me, “Why did you leave those jobs?” And I had to admit. Those jobs made me cry. “And why,” he asked, “do you want to go back to doing a job that makes you cry?” “To prove that I could do it. To prove that I am capable. To prove that I am good enough.” And he said, “You already did that.” And bopped me with the scroll. And kissed me on the nose.

So, goodbye “Business Analyst”

So long, “Instructional Designer”

To the woods with you, “Educational Developer”, “Professor”, and “Internet Solutions Consultant” (or whatever that one was)

This CV is a reflection of a life-gone-by, a striving, exhausting life driven by external validation.

I handed him the scroll and said, “Read this.” He scanned it, mentioned a few of the things on it. “Does it say anything on there about Love?” I asked. He shook his head. “No Love.” “Passion?” I asked. He mimed looking over it again. I continued. “Exuberance? Excitement? Curiosity?” He shook his head once more. “Does this,” I said, “look like the kind of person you would want to sit down and talk to over a beer?” “Um,” he said, “Frankly? I’d be intimidated.”

“Does this,” I continued, “in any way reflect the woman that you have come to know and love?” He said, “Only through a funhouse mirror.” He looked through the scroll. “I can see your nose. Or one toe. Or one eye. But you are not in this.”

And I said, “Then it has to go.” And I declared my intention for the new year (which in my mind starts on the morning after Winter Solstice, even if I am a minority of one): I will no longer live a life in pieces. I will bring the most important parts of me to the world, in all their flawed and brilliant glory. I will cry at the drop of a hat, and talk about my children in public, and love where I see/feel fit. I will move my body for the joy of it, not to improve my visual appeal to those who would judge. I will eat healthy foods because I love myself, not as a form of denial. I will take this new name, step into my power, and stop apologizing for having not enough/too much education for whatever the situation is.

And I will never, never (in a desperate cry for approval) send this CV out into the world again.

QCP1: Fearlessness, Courage and Uncertainty

This has been an exciting week at the cottage. I started taking Hiro Boga’s Be Your Own Business Advisor program, and I am levelling up!

Step #1 is to reveal… the podcast!

Episode 1: Fearlessness, Courage and Uncertainty is now available for listening and downloading at your leisure, thanks to the incredibly generous Pat Flynn (of Smart Passive Income) who kindly provided complete instructions in a free tutorial.

This means that you will also soon be able to find me on iTunes. Oooh. Aaah.

In the meantime, Episode 1…

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Cephalopods. Everywhere!

In which our author gets Messages from the Universe in unconventional form.

The other day I was having a conversation with my partner about my life and business (attempts). I said to him, “Well. If you know that you’re an octopus, but you suspect that everybody wants to hire a fuzzy bunny, what do you do then?”

Do you present yourself as a fuzzy bunny and let the octopus do the work behind the scenes, do you try to actually become a fuzzy bunny, or do you boldly go out into the world, proclaiming, “Well, what you really need here is an octopus.” Or perhaps less boldly, “Have you considered the possibilities presented by the octopus?”

Since then, there have been cephalopods everywhere.

The morning after this conversation, I was getting dressed and discovered a toy octopus on the floor next to my dresser, peeking up at me. I came out to report this to my partner, and he pointed at the manual for a child carrier we haven’t used in 4 years, poking up out of the top of the video game basket, proudly proclaiming, “It’s not an octopus!” (It also had pictures of rabbits on it, just in case I didn’t get the point.)

The next night, my son and I came across this video on YouTube, presented as a “related” to something it wasn’t related to at all. (I’ve linked to the original back on the NOVA website. Because… NOVA!)

 

Last night via twitter and YouTube, Ze Frank told me The True Facts about the Octopus. Which led to The True Facts about the Cuttlefish. Which ends with “If you want to let your freak flag fly, the cuttlefish has got your back.”

And just when I was wondering what it all means, one of my friends linked to a tweet about a whiskey tasting, written, for no apparent reason, on the image of an octopus.